Can You Be In Love With Two People At Once?

Hey Guys and Dolls!

     Lots of crazy crap going on in life and in the world, as usual.  Syria, Russia, Iran, obama, congress,
and who the heck knows what is going on in your local piece of the world.  Murders, robberies,
rapes, fights, drunken brawls, break-ins, you name it, it's going on here.

     But I'm not concentrating on any of that today.  Today I want to talk about the guy who is the
man in charge of arguably the most successful online business in the past two years.  He wrote a blog post, I guess it was, that was and is being passed around amongst all the "little" people.  If you have paid attention for the past two years online, you know who I'm talking about, and if you don't, it really doesn't matter.
   
     Here is the crux of the situation.  His profile used to, and may very well still, call himself a guy who
is "ridiculously in love with his wife".  But yesterday I read a post from him that relates that his wife has gone to Hollywood to seek fame and fortune as an actress.  I guess she has been gone for a month or a little more and the implication was that they were still more or less in wedded bliss at that time.

     However, the post goes on to say that in the time that his wife has been gone, he has met and fallen in love with a local girl, whose whereabouts are currently unknown to him.  Oh, and by the way, the local girl is pregnant.  So, the plot thickens.

     Now the questions come out, at least from me, and believe me, I am not a saint nor an inquisitor.  But having thrust himself into the public eye, this guy, let's call him Dave, has brought himself under public scrutiny.  So, in the same manner as a public figure in the offline world, be it a politico, or the
president or CEO of a large corporation such as Sears, Dupont, Ford Motor Company, or any other entity, he is subject to the scrutiny that all of the "rich in public" have to contend with.

The single burning question (with many parts) that I have for him is this.

If you were in love with your wife, at the time she left for fame and fortune on the silver screen, why did you put yourself in a position to "fall in love" with someone you had seemingly never laid eyes on until your wife left the country?

Can you really fall in love after a month? Or do you fall in love when the object of your lust ends up
pregnant?

Does the fact that you don't know where your pregnant girlfriend is, have a bearing on your new
found love?  In the manner of  absence making the heart grow fonder?  Or fooling yourself into
believing that your little slipup is okay because you loooovve her?

And just exactly how does the "girlfriend" feel about you and more importantly having your baby?
Or having anyone's baby for that matter?  Or could the fact that you are a millionaire come into
play at all?  Is her disappearance due to advice from legal counsel in building a child support
case against you?


Now for the opinion, the moralizing, and perhaps the judgment, if you will.

First of all, Jesus said "judge not, that you be not judged" meaning to me, that if you don't want
to be judged, then don't judge anyone else.  That notwithstanding, I believe that you CAN judge,
based on your own morals, beliefs, tenets, and the teachings you hold dear in your life from your
church, your parents, your ancestors and society in general.

Number One.  If you are married and you love your spouse, you are supposed to be faithful to them.

Number Two.  If you have split and you have a pretty good idea that you aren't getting back together, then stay away from all members of the opposite sex.  Rebound relationships are statistically doomed even more than first marriages.  And nobody gets pregnant.

Number Three. If either you or your spouse found a playmate prior to the split, they are not coming back and chances are that their new relationship is going nowhere.  Some will be successful, but most will not.  In general the playmate is someone who was just that, looking for play. The "player" was looking for something they weren't getting in the marriage.  Too late now, but whomever wasn't happy should have told the other person and they should have gotten counseling to determine if the marriage could be fixed or not.

I could go on and on, but I have seriously gotten away from the topical question.  Can you be in love with two people at the same time?  I believe that you can, to a point.  I believe that you can want to
be with two different people and enjoy their company, and yes, be in love with them both.  In order
to do this however, I also believe that they actually have to have many of the same attributes.  So
that your feelings are really about a certain type person as opposed to a specific person.

Happiest are obviously those who have found what can truly be called a "soul mate".  Unhappily,
I believe that most people do not find their soul mates, but that they can still be happy with the
person they married.  I know a lady who married a man so effeminate that he is as close to
gay as any man can be without actually admitting to it. They have had a couple of kids.  I seriously
doubt that they are "in love" but they are both reasonably happy.  Neither of them had much of
a chance finding a partner who was a soul mate, he being so effeminate and she being homely
and not having much of a personality.  They settled for each other and perhaps rightly so.

Most people I know that are happily married are not married to their "soul mates" but are not
necessarily unhappy either.  Most are married to those whom they know are good people
and they love that person. They wish that they were "in love" with their mates but they are
content that they don't have a worse lot in life.

Those who are not married, but are playing house, shacking up, are fooling themselves and
each other.  They have no commitment to each other, no matter how much they protest that
they do.  I have been in so-called "committed" relationships and I have been married.
Marriage is a whole different ballgame.  It is far easier to walk away from a "committed" relationship
than it is to walk away from a marriage.

Okay, enough of my rambling. I've left lots of loose ends and lots of room for comment and
criticism.  Let's begin!